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- "If you want, or rather intend, to take a splinter out
of another person, then do not hack at it with a stick instead
of a lancet, for you will only drive it in deeper. And this is a
stick – rude speech and rough gestures. And this is a lancet –
tempered instruction and patient reprimand. “Reprove,” says the
Apostle, “rebuke, exhort,” but he did not say “beat.” (II
Timothy 4:2) And if even this is required, do it rarely, and not
with your own hand." St John Climacu, the
Ladder o Divine Ascent, Step 8, On Freedom From Anger and On
Meekness
- "If you wish to correct anyone from his faults, do not think
of correcting him solely by your own means: you would only do
harm by your own passions, for instance, by pride and by the
irritability arising from it; 'but cast thy burden upon the
Lord,' (Ps. 55:22) and pray to God 'Who trieth the hearts and
reins,' (Ps. 7:9) with all your heart, that He Himself may
enlighten the mind and heart of that man."
St. Gregory Palamas (On Prayer and Purity
of Heart no. 3, The Philokalia Vol. 4 edited by Palmer, Sherrard
and Ware; Faber and Faber pgs 344-345)
- "Question: If one of the brethren or one of the sick should
sin, and I, desiring to correct him, tell him something with
disturbance: should I later bow down to him (asking for
forgiveness)? If it should happen that he leaves the infirmary
being angry at me, what should I do? And in general, for what
faults should one make a prostration (to the other)? For pride
and self-justification darken the mind. And when one makes a
prostration, vainglory again finds an occasion for itself.
Answer: Do nothing with disturbance, because evil does not give
rise to good. But endure until your thought should become calm,
and then speak in peace. And if the brother should listen to you
– well and good; but if not, tell him: "Would you not like me to
reveal this to the Abba, and we will do as he judges," and you
will be at peace. But if he goes away angry, tell the Abba, and
he will enlighten him: but make no bow to him (that is, do not
beg forgiveness), for through this you will give him occasion to
think that you are actually guilty before him, and he will arm
himself against you even more. But from other people be careful
to ask forgiveness, corresponding to the sin: as soon as you see
that your sin is great, bow down; but when it is not great, say
with your lips, with a feeling of heartfelt repentance: "Forgive
me, brother."
Beware of pride and self-justification, for they hinder
repentance; and it also happens that a man gives a bow out of
vainglory. Despite these three passions (pride,
self-justification, and vainglory); where necessary, make a bow
with humility, fear of God, and understanding. According to your
strength, strive to remain in these virtues, and God will help
you, by the prayers of the Saints." Saints
Barsanuphius and John: Guidance Toward Spiritual Life," trans.
by Fr. Seraphim Rose, (Platina, California: St. Herman of Alaska
Brotherhood, 1990)
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